Discovering Beauty in the Midst of Illness

Rainbowby Rainbow Lonestar

Who’d have thunk it possible?  Somehow beauty and illness don’t seem to go together very well.  My experience going through a bad bout with the flu is showing me otherwise, though, thanks to the process of Focusing and the qualities of Presence that are at the heart of it.

What an amazing journey going through an illness can be when the time and space are created to really be Present with the process and all that arises throughout it and when the body’s needs are deeply listened to and honored at every stage of the way.

When I got bulldozed by the flu a few days ago, the first thing that was needed was re-prioritizing my to-do list; everything that’s not absolutely essential has to wait, including dishes and laundry.  Information input and output need to be severely limited, because there simply is not the energy available to deal with them.  This means cyber surfing is out and any correspondence with folks is limited to only the most pressing and is kept as brief as possible; all others will just need to wait.

That done, it’s time to settle in with what is here right now, acknowledging with Presence (which is gentle, open, spacious, compassionate, curious, loving, quiet and nonjudgmental, among other things) everything that is going on with my body in this moment, which is a LOT!
Photo on 2016-04-18 at 13.24Ah, there is the deep ache in the bones of my legs and feet, the ache in the bones of my face and jaws and the pressure and fullness in the spaces between; I can feel my pulse beating in some of these places and am also aware of the high-pitched, unwavering internal sound of my nervous system hard at work.  Then there is the internal sense of a fever and the heat flush in the face that it brings, along with the sense of top-heaviness and fatigue that always seem to come with it, as well as the chill and feeling of not being able to get warm enough.

Interesting for me to note that there is nothing within me that seems particularly unhappy about these current conditions I find myself in, even though it’s not exactly a fun and enjoyable experience to be having.  Maybe this is just another testament of how much the process of Focusing has already changed my experience of life and how I relate to everything that shows up for me.

So now that everything that’s currently going on with my body has been acknowledged, it’s time to listen and sense in deeply to what it is needing – is it bed rest?, fluids- if so, what kind? (some favorite kombucha, please, with extra Vit.C thrown in), food? (definitely No!), fresh air?, sun?, quiet?, some nurturing music?, etc.

All along the way, I’m becoming more intimately acquainted with my body, of how my habitual patterns of holding myself often contribute to the tension and aches that my body experiences and how even seemingly minor shifts in posture can open up a sense of spaciousness and ease where there was none before.  How very cool is that?!

And so it becomes a kind of dance my body and I do together throughout the day, this acknowledging what is here now and sensing in to what is needed and wanted at any given time.  The feeling is that we’re all in this together working for the common good of the whole being that I am; what a beautiful experience it is to sense that every part of me is on board and united in helping my body regain its health and balance!  And with it comes the sense of complete trust that gives me the ability to let go into the process, knowing that it will unfold as it needs to and in its own time restore my body to a state of health.  And so the dance continues…

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